Your friend PurlJew? She is seriously rattled today. Well, to be perfectly honest, she's been rattled all weekend and developed the lovely new hobby of listening nonstop to what Anne Lamott calls KFKD, that nasty little voice in the mind that tells you that packing up your life and moving halfway across the world in approximately 20 days is fucking insane and you are insane to even think so.
I mean, I'm moving. To. Israel. I am leaving behind a job that, even if I didn't love it all the time, still meant something to me, two fat and shed-prone cats that spend the night curled up beside me, a vast stash of yarn (and only some of it falls under the 'what the hell was I thinking' category)--not to mention the banal yet comforting certainty of knowing where everything in my life was. So, maybe it wasn't an exciting life, or even a very fulfilling life some of the time, but I'm close to my family, there's a Target almost within walking distance, some really good restaraunts, and everyone at Borders knows me. What the hell am I thinking, packing everything into three bags and nannying for four kids and...
Well, you can see what I mean about KFKD. Those are just the current hits. I haven't even gotten to the rest of the Top 20 Countdown, like, "You'll End Up a Gibbering Mess, Clutching a Half-Finished Sock and Crying in The Corner of a Cafe Someplace," (that's by Tammy Whine-nette, by the way).
I keep trying to focus on the positive things, and the reasons why I'm leaving behind a comfortable yet-way-too-sedate life, a life that, were I in a nursing home in Des Moines, I might find reasonably exciting: because you don't get that many chances to change your life. Because, 6 years ago, I had the chance to do this very same thing, and I turned it down, and took my life on a different path entirely, and now I can't stop thinking: what if this isn't the life I'm meant to have? What if the only way to get the life I want is to take this giant, life-changing, fear-filled leap of faith?
Wouldn't you do it, if those were your reasons?
In knitting news:
Finished the first sock. You could see it if I had remembered to charge my camera over the weekend, but take my word for it: it is an actual sock. It has a lovely heel, some excellent, non-lumpy short rows, a toe that I used a three-needle BO on (which looks fine, by the way, and is so much easier--why aren't you supposed to do that for toes?) and it fits and looks nice. I don't like the yarn colors any more than I did in the beginning, but someone somewhere will like royal blue and purple stripes.
Notice I said sock. I am in denial about the fact that you actually have to knit two to make a pair.
I also finished the front of Klaralund while watching Shaun of the Dead (great movie, I now want Simon Pegg terribly, and you should rent it next weekend). The only issue? I cannot find the damn pattern book in the wreck of my apartment (how can it look worse when I'm throwing away bags of trash and carting the rest to Goodwill every day? it looks like a crack-den) and therefore cannot finish the rest of the damn sweater. I have a terrible suspicion I left it in NYC over Spring Break, since that was the last time I worked on it. If anyone out there has a copy of the Cornelia Tuttle Hamilton book with Klaralund in it that they don't want anymore, I'd be more than happy to swap or pay you for it. I've got two balls of Regia sock yarn in shades of blue, purple and green, and three balls of Rowan ASC in a lovely sky blue, and more--just let me know.
PS: It turns out that KFKD goes away if you eat lots of peanut M&Ms. Ah, yet another excuse...
Please e-mail me so that we can meet up when you get here! I posted a message to you on the knitty board, but I don't think you got it!!! We have a great new stitch n bitch!
Welcome to the holy city :)
Posted by: Safranit | June 06, 2005 at 04:31 AM